The Black Hole
The black hole lurks in outer space,
all matter it consumes.
Not even light escapes its grasp
nor witches on their brooms.
Gases, dust, and planets, too,
cannot resist its tug;
it eats up galaxies for lunch
and hardly gives a shrug.
The only thing to match its strength,
that could perhaps compete,
would be the mess that’s swirling ’round
down there on old Wall Street!
This n That
Algebra and calculus
have always been to me
irritating bugaboos
wrapped up in mystery.
X can equal Y or Z
but X is less than Pi,
then take it to the Nth degree . . .
now that just makes me cry!
Way back in my high school days
this stuff drove me insane
and helped my S.A.T. test scores
go quickly down the drain.
Now computers [...]
The Fountain Pen
In olden days the fountain pen
bespoke a certain style –
of elegance and artistry
and lack of any guile.
It was a trusty instrument
and never would I knock it,
except when the darn cap came off
and ink filled my shirt pocket.
So now I’ve switched to ballpoint pens.
Plebian they may be,
but at least my shirts don’t look
like they’ve been washed [...]
There’s Gold in them thar hills
A goldrush is upon us –
all the Wall Street Jack & Jills
are screaming of their mountain debts:
‘There’s gold in them thar hills!’
‘The Treasury Department
is a-buyin up bad loans;
those rattles in the closet
are now money and not bones!’
‘Pack your mules with shovels
and some powder for the fleas –
the first to scale the Mortgage Range
will claim the [...]
Things that go bump in my wallet
Where does money come from –
do you grow it in a field,
sowing dimes and nickels
for a million-dollar yield?
Maybe storks do bring it
as they do our babies sweet,
or maybe it is spun out
from good fairies by the sheet.
Leprechauns have pots of gold
and pirates raid for loot,
mermaids have their ropes of pearls,
for gemstones dragons root.
I don’t know [...]
Immunity
Old George Bush, he’s up a tree
when it comes to immunity.
Our troops, that set Iraqis free
and gave them pure democracy,
sometimes go on a killing spree
with no accountability.
Prime Minister al-Malaki
with this slight fault cannot agree.
He hopes the killers won’t go free
but will be tried quite legally.
Old Bush could never stand to see
our boys locked up disgracefully.
But [...]
The Shopping Cart
I go into the market
and pick out a shopping cart.
No matter which I’ve choosen
it begins to act real smart.
The handle is all sticky
and the wheels are such a fright,
sounding like a screech owl
being murdered in the night.
I try to push it straight ahead
but it has other plans,
zigging when I want to zag
and crashing into cans.
I’m [...]
Selling Short
What do you sell
when you sell something short?
Is it for pleasure,
or profit or sport?
Wall Street has done it
for many a year,
making more paupers
than Miller has beer.
Whatever it is
and however it works,
we’re taking it out
of the hands of those jerks.
Do not feel sorry
for their petty plight –
they’ll still get their paws
on the poor widow’s mite.
Change
Like the bums who mumble
at you from a too close range,
politicians are demanding
that we must have change.
Change in the economy
and change in foreign wars;
change inside the Beltway
and behind the White House doors.
Everyone’s a maverick
who shuns the party line
to bring us the Millenium
of roses and sweet wine.
McCain is no one’s patsy
and Barack is no one’s fool;
Joe [...]
My Moustache
I have a little moustache
that goes in and out with me;
some think it is an eyebrow
that descended secretly.
I say it gives me character,
maturity and poise.
Others say it looks a bit
like shredded tinker toys.
What with the price of razor blades,
my wallet’s getting sheared;
so next time that you see me
I’ll have started a full beard.
