Two Sides Of The Same Coin
In a world where gossip masquerades as fact what need for compassion, truthfulness or tact? When every source is unnamed and every poll is skewed every public figure will soon be barbequed. The media is biased, bought or just a drone; the only news reliable is on a man’s tombstone. ****************************** Newspapers [...]
I Wish I Were An Atheist
I wish I were an atheist cuz then it wouldn’t count that I never memorized the Sermon on the Mount. The Ten Commandments wouldn’t be a drag on all my fun and I could make some whoopee like that Prodigal young son. I’d never have to go again to some old Sunday School or [...]
Vegan
If you are a vegan everybody wants to know will you write a book or be a guest on their talk show. Vegans are much hotter than a movie star or doc, even when we think their pose is nothing but a crock. Everyone admires them for being so austere, for having a keen [...]
Paper Work
When I dig into paperwork, unraveling red tape, I curse it all in triplicate as unfit for an ape. Anything requiring initials on each page should go into a shredder or the bottom of a cage. There never is quite room enough to write the info in; abbreviations are forbid, considered a grave sin. [...]
Ethanol
Ethanol’s the coming thing, we ought to push it real hard. It brings in jobs and money, just don’t build it near my backyard. Breaking free of foreign oil and using nature’s bounty, it’s our duty to install a plant in the next county. Never mind the smell or noise or watershed pollution– as long [...]
Watches
I think it is iniquitous that watches are ubiquitous; digital or moving hands, their faces give me swollen glands; every wrist is shackled so – in the dark they even glow; sweet freedom lies ahead, unmapped, as soon as we are all unstrapped!
Up a Creek
McCain is up a creek without a paddle or a boat; his VP is a nitwit and his politics won’t float. His chances of convincing voters to embrace his cause are ’bout the same as Playboy being bought by Santa Claus. His only hope of winning is if corporate big wheels fix computer voting [...]
Suspenders
I like to wear suspenders cuz I’m fighting gravity. I know a belt is normal but it’s never worry-free. Trousers have no backbone; they are spineless jellyfish. They’d tumble like the Dow Jones if they got their wicked wish. Of course it might be better, with the way that I am built, to give [...]
The Handkerchief
The handkerchief is out of date, a dodo in the works. Old ladies carry one about for their hygienic quirks. A piece of cloth that’s crawling with more germs than petri dish; every time you blow your nose a colony you squish. Now I carry kleenex and I hope that you do too. Cuz sneezing [...]
Green Turtles from The Mall
My parents never let me have a dog when I was small. Nothing was allowed except green turtles from the mall. A plastic dish of gravel with a plastic lone palm tree, a silent, solemn, turtle – that was good enough for me. The size of silver dollars and immobile as a rock, my turles [...]
