Just Wondering
A goldfish in a bowl
will rarely have a goal.
It’s room and board is set.
Fears nothing but a net.
No clothing does it need.
It follows no known creed.
In politics is bland;
will always vote for sand.
Cannot be made to see
its part in history.
Prefers to drift along,
no thought of right or wrong.
Won’t even have a name,
rejects all earthly fame.
And on its final [...]
Timerick
Shut up, Michael Moore.
You’re such an old bore.
You don’t know the score.
You make my ears sore.
Rush Limbaugh, be still.
You’re mentally ill.
Go take a pain pill.
We’ve all had our fill.
Ms Oprah, drop dead.
You live in your head.
You make me see red.
Some weight you should shed.
Jay Leno, too smug.
Do you wear a rug?
Your jokes need a drug.
Your [...]
Child Soldiers of the Congo
Child soldiers of the Congo
running wild with carbine guns,
why could you not stay inside school
and listen to the nuns?
Now you march and loot and kill
and chant your Mother Goose
while your country sadly steps
up to a copper noose.
Child soldiers of the Congo
missing hands and maybe feet,
when sergeants catch you playing
your soft bodies they do beat.
Your naptime [...]
Vampires
If you want success without a question or a doubt
make sure your book or movie has vampires all about.
The undead are now part of the American Daydream;
we seem to love these creatures that can make us bleed and scream.
But compared to bank foreclosures and the layoffs running wild
I think these pale bloodsuckers do look pretty [...]
Incorruptible Iraq
Iraq is such a moral place,
inspectors are not needed
to sniff out governmental fraud
and keep it firmly weeded.
The bureaucrats are pure in heart.
The clerks are close to Allah
and you can get most anything
if you have got a dollah.
Their honesty’s beyond reproach
and they are very frugal.
Their picture you will always find
if "sneak thief" you will Google.
They do [...]
Deadly Massage
I bought a back massager
and I put it on my chair
to take away the stiffness
from my daily wear & tear.
At first it worked delightful
and I sighed at such quick ease,
but soon the deep vibrations
seemed a bit like swarms of bees.
The china started shaking
off the shelves onto the floor;
the TV set did shimmy
right on out the [...]
UNWRAP THIS
Christmas morning down the stairs
came the kiddies shrieking;
they knew good things were at hand,
for they had been peeking!
Underneath the Christmas tree
presents wrapped so brightly
gave the boys and girls a thrill,
made their parents sprightly.
Little Billy dived right in,
ripping like a demon,
when he found his soldier doll
he thought he must be dreamin’!
"Daddy, take the plastic off
so I [...]
Good Intentions
I know to brush my teeth at night,
but I don’t always do it;
someday when I am gumming meat
perhaps I’ll come to rue it.
I should not eat the sauerkraut
that often comes with sausage
and yet I do it anyway
and put up with the tossage.
To end each day in fervent prayer
should never be neglected,
but sometimes David Letterman
the right [...]
Snow Biz
The snow falls on my sidewalk
as my back begins to twinge,
and soon I know I’ll have to go
upon a shoveling binge.
The sidewalk is uneven
so I meet a jarring bump
every other foot or so
that makes my coccyx jump.
My shovel is an old one
that must weigh more than a tank;
I sweat just like an athlete
as my mittens [...]
Pie In The Sky
Everybody’s crying wolf,
but what’s the use of bawling
that Depression’s back again
and the sky is falling?
Talking poor mouth is a ruse,
practised by the many,
from the farmer in his field
to comics like Jack Benny.
I see new cars everywhere.
Credit cards are common.
I haven’t got a single friend
reduced to eating Ramen.
Yessiree, the times are good
and I’m a millionaire;
but while [...]
