Who is this Joe Sixpack
that the statisticians quote?
Where’s he living, what’s his job,
and who will get his vote?
Is he just a figment
of some adman’s fevered brow
or does he live and breathe
and go out bowling anyhow?
What about Jane Sixpack –
can she match him beer for beer?
Is she just a stay-home mom
and little sixpacks rear?
Everybody speaks for Joe
and knows just what he thinks.
Everybody is his friend
and wants to buy him drinks.
I’ve never met Joe Sixpack,
if you really wanna know –
I don’t care all that much for him;
I much prefer John Doe.
He’s older and experienced,
and well-established, too.
So he’s mature and tolerant
and takes the longer view.
But like most older persons
his thoughts they all ignore;
the public doesn’t listen
to John Doe much anymore.
They clamor for Joe Sixpack–
reeking of cheap hops and sweat;
American as apple pie,
foreclosure, and deep debt.
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