The recipes in magazines
sound scrumptious, I agree,
but where to find ingredients
they list — a mystery!
They call for capers in rum sauce
or powdered baby’s breath –
and other stuff that you might get
from witches in Macbeth.
A double-boiler’s called for,
and maybe a shad plank,
cheesecloth and a centrifuge
and pickled oxen shank.
How I’ve longed these many years
to cry “bon appetite!”
but wind up serving pizza
on a dented cookie sheet.
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